Is it Rude To Make Plans In Front Of Others?

Making plans is a natural part of life, especially when you have a large circle of family, friends, and co-workers.

But, what happens when you make plans in front of others? Intentionally or not, you may be considered rude.

Read on below and explore the full and in-depth answer!

Is it Rude to Make Plans In Front Of Others?

Making plans in front of others is more often than not considered rude. The primary reason people feel it is rude for you to make plans in front of them is that you are excluding them. No one wants to be excluded from the group, whether they are your close friend or not.

That’s why it is far more proper to wait until you are in private to make plans with others (rather than in front of others who may be offended).

How Rude Is it?


On the rude meter, making plans in front of others rates 7 out of 10. The reason making plans in front of others doesn’t rate 10 out of 10 is that some people have thick skin and aren’t bothered with you making plans that don’t include them. 

That said, it is wise to remember that most people do feel hurt when they hear you making plans without them.

Why is it Rude?

Regardless that your intentions are more than likely not of ill will, the very act of making plans in front of others (“others” being people not included in said plans) is seen as rude. Human beings at their very core are social beings. 

That means, even if you aren’t close, or even friends, it hurts on the inside to hear others making plans without you.

Other Options to Do Instead

In the day and age of digital everything, there is practically no reason for you to risk upsetting others or being seen as rude in order to make or finalize plans.

Instead, try one of these options:

  • Wait until later to discuss plans
  • Send a text
  • Pass a note (yeah, one of those archaic handwritten messages on paper)
  • Speak in code (that you both understand, but others don’t)

Common Questions

How far ahead of time should I make plans?

The amount of time needed ahead of time (for making plans) depends on what it is that you are planning. If it is a quick get-together, planning could be done in as little as minutes beforehand. That said, a wedding, or a private party, requires weeks to months for proper planning.

How do I make plans without help?

Making plans without help isn’t nearly as hard as you’d think (if you haven’t tried to do so yet). Start by making a list of potential guests, party favors, decor needed, possible locations, and anything other important factors for whatever it is that you’re planning. Next, take your time, work through the plan step by step, and begin reaching out to others or making the proper purchases and reservations.

How can I get better at plan-making?

Practice, practice, practice; that is how you get better at plan-making. There are also a plethora of websites, apps, and computer programs that help you organize your plan (and carry it out). Some apps even allow you to invite others to join your team and get directly involved in the plan-making. Involving others, and listening to people’s ideas, are two of the best ways to get better at making great plans.