Is it Rude To Ask To Stay At Someone’s House?

Whether you’re traveling, just want to hang out, or find yourself in need of a place to stay while you get back on your feet, asking a friend, family member, or co-worker to stay at their house is relatively common. But is it rude? Read on below and discover the answer!

Is it Rude to Ask to Stay At Someone’s House?

Asking to stay at someone’s house isn’t exactly polite, but it isn’t always considered rude either. In other words, whether or not it is ok (or rude) to ask to stay at someone’s home depends on the nature of your relationship with said person. 

However, even if you know someone for years, it can be incredibly hard to guess whether or not they will be offended if you ask to stay at their house (whether for a quick visit, a few weeks, or indefinitely).

How Rude Is it?


To straight up ask to stay at someone’s house rates 7 out of 10 on the rude meter. It’s ok to stay with friends, it’s even ok if it’s for a long period of time (if they are fine with it), but you should wait for them to ask you (not ask them yourself) in most cases.

Why is it Rude?

Asking to stay at someone’s house rather than letting them know what’s going on in your life and waiting for an invite is definitely rude, most of the time. In case you are on the street, with nowhere to go, asking to stay with someone isn’t as rude as it is awkward and humbling, however.

Other Options to Do Instead

When you are preparing for a trip out of town, or are in between places (and have nowhere to call home), it is better to mention your circumstances to the person(s) you want to ask about staying with than to openly ask them (in most cases). 

If a person genuinely cares about you or wants to see you while you’re in town, they will generally speak up and pop the question themself. 

That said, if you have spoken to someone, and they know your situation, but they haven’t offered you a place to crash (at their house) it is without a doubt rude to ask to stay with them (unless you are very close friends or family).

Common Questions

How do I ask if I can stay at someone’s house?

Depending on who you’re thinking about trying to stay with, outright asking them is rarely the smoothest move. Rather, it is a much smoother move to simply let the person know you will be around, you don’t have anywhere to stay (or plans). If they want to open their house to you, they will more than likely do so.

How long is it ok to stay at someone’s house?

There is no clear answer as to how long it is “ok” to stay at someone’s house, as the reasons you may be staying with them in the first place could be quite diverse. You could be visiting on vacation, in which case it would be ok to hang around for a few days to a week or two at most (depending on how well you know them). If you stay with them long enough to get on your feet, a couple of weeks to a few months is usually ok.

Is visiting and “staying” at someone’s home the same thing?

Visiting someone and staying at someone’s house can be the same thing, but are not always. Visiting is usually related to those who are staying with someone while they are out of town while staying with someone is another way of saying “temporarily living” with them.