Is it Rude To Ask Someone Their Pronouns?

In today’s world of wokeism and political correctness, it is considered extremely rude to call someone by the wrong pronouns. 

But, what if you don’t know someone’s pronouns? Is it rude to ask? Read on below and find out!

Is it Rude to Ask Someone Their Pronouns?

Knowing what pronouns to use in conversation with any particular individual you are talking to is crucial if you want to avoid putting your foot in your mouth and hurting someone’s feelings by accident.

Asking someone’s pronouns is not rude at all because how else would you know their pronouns if they haven’t offered up the information? 

That’s why it is best to stick with calling someone strictly by their name and avoid the use of possibly offensive or hurtful pronouns.

How Rude Is it?


Asking someone for their pronouns rates 1 out of 10 on the rude meter. It isn’t rude, it’s simply necessary sometimes. That said, the way you go about asking someone what their pronouns go a long way in making a difference in how rude or not the question seems to them.

Why Is it Not Rude?

It isn’t rude to ask for someone’s pronouns if you go about it with a bit of common sense and civility. Otherwise, you may accidentally call someone by the wrong pronouns and hurt their feelings or make them feel bad. 

However, people who are sensitive about their pronouns typically let you know what their preferred pronouns are upon meeting you and entering into a conversation with you.

Other Options to Do Instead

If you are meeting someone for the first time, whether in person or online, take the time to look them up briefly. Simply checking their social media accounts for their preferred pronouns is standard practice today, and helps prevent needless awkward situations.

Further, it isn’t rude at all to simply ask someone what pronouns they prefer in this day and age. It is safer to ask than to guess or assume what pronouns someone likes to be called by.

Common Questions

How do you ask someone their pronouns?

Asking someone their pronouns is as easy as saying “what pronouns do you use, by the way” or “could you remind me what pronouns you prefer”. Most people who care about their pronouns are more than happy to let you know right away. Those who don’t care, likewise, will let you know as much.

How important is it to use the right pronouns?

Today, it is more and more important to use the proper pronouns with people than it ever has been. With people being more open-minded about sex, gender, and all sorts of things in between, knowing someone’s pronouns is crucial. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, avoid using pronouns and stick to using their name (or just ask them what pronouns like like).

Do people really care about their pronouns?

Believe it or not, more and more people care about their pronouns these days. That said, there are others who don’t care about a pronoun, or which ones someone chooses to use to describe them. It is best practice to assume that whoever you are talking to does indeed care about their pronouns, however, and stay safe rather than being sorry.