Is it Rude to Ask For Money on Your Birthday?

It is safe to say that funerals are not a happy time for anyone… it is the honoring of the recently departed after all.

Most times, we feel sympathy and compassion for the person/family of the deceased. 

But, what about when we want to do something to help them out? Is it rude to give money at a funeral?

Read on below and learn the truth behind this question’s answer!

Is it Rude to Give Money at a Funeral?

Believe it or not, regardless of the purity behind your wanting to give money to the family of the deceased at a funeral, this action is typically deemed a rude thing to do.

That’s because giving money at a funeral is viewed as an open act of sympathy. 

That said, in the specific case that the family of the deceased has been left in a particularly bad financial situation, giving money at a funeral is perfectly acceptable.

However, when you do give someone money at a funeral, you should take them to the side and do it (or give it to them when no one is paying attention). 

How Rude Is it?


On the rude meter’s scale of 1 to 10, giving money at a funeral rates 9

Giving money to someone at a funeral isn’t the smoothest of moves to make, as it is likely to be seen as rude by the recipient or anyone who notices the gift-giving.

On the other hand, it is perfectly acceptable to give money to someone at a funeral when they are in an obvious financial bind due to the death of their loved one.

The important thing about giving money to someone at a funeral is that you do it discreetly and respectfully. 

Otherwise, it is rude to give the person money in front of others regardless of whether or not they “need” the money.

Why is it Rude?

Giving money to someone at a funeral, especially in front of others, is more often than not considered rude. 

The proper thing to do is only give money to someone at a funeral if they really need it, and make sure that you don’t do it in front of others.

Otherwise, it is less rude to wait until after the funeral, or before the funeral, when no one else is around to give money to someone that needs it because of the recent death of their loved one.

Common Questions

What is condolence money?

Condolence money is money that you give to someone when they have suffered the recent death of a loved one. 

Whether or not you give condolence money to someone is completely up to you, in most cases.

Some religions suggest doing so, but there is no golden rule about giving condolence money. 

How do you give condolence money?

The best way to give condolence money is to place it in a white envelope with your name on the inside flap and the recipient’s name on the outside.

Another good way to give condolence money is simply placing it in someone’s hand when you have a private moment with the recipient.

What is condolence money called?

Condolence money is also called pek kim or bereavement pay. 

This money is provided primarily for helping cover the costs of a funeral.